Cuak!

Hmmm, lemme just say I have no idea what 'cuak' is in English.

Where to start?
I've told(finally) my mum that I'm going to Kuantan tomorrow albeit I'm not competing. I am kinda distraught.

What is this bullshit? I seriously find it hard to express myself and suddenly using big words which I can't spell very well will just spin my puny head.

I'm going to Kuantan tomorrow and then Penang at the end of the week. There's this Penang Debate Open where I'm going to be one of the adjudicator. Yay me. At first, I was extremely excited, now, I'm more agitated. No, I'm not worried of making new friends and making a fool of myself. Nor am I worried that I would annoy them to death with my incessant rambling. (sorry to all my friends who had to bear with my stupidity). I'm actually worried about my current friends whom I can't communicate very well to.

Most of you know that the debaters are lawrians right? (except Syauqi, Hanan and Iadid of course, they're TESLian)

No, I don't detest them. I like and respect them. It's me who's being stupid and feel like an outsider all the time. Normally, I could mingle well with people. Okay by my standard. But, with this crowd, I'm as quiet as a mouse. I can't find anything good to say or fit in.

I hate being vulnerable and helpless. I hate not knowing stuff. I know, I know. If I don't know something, look it up, right? Wrong! Knowledge is too vast and sometime, incomprehensible. The internet can only help you understand the surface of the stuff. Where oh where can I find the gist of the debate topic. Much, much better than using a search engine.

I think I'm ranting again, and not writing what I really wanted to. Sorry for the awful grammar mistakes and simple vocabs. If I find my courage, I would write again. In case I won't find it, I need to chase the Cowardly Lion for it then, cheerio. To the people who are offended, don't take it to heart. It's just wasn't meant for your eyes. *grin